Since I already wrote a whopper of a post, I’ll try to keep this relatively short.
Today, I am grateful for vulnerability. Like I wrote in my previous post, it has a lot of power, and my ability to be vulnerable with others at Menninger and the step-down has been an important part of my treatment and how far I’ve come.
I am grateful for my fellow step-down clients. While I may not get along with all of them, it is good to be in a community of people who have similar problems. Some people are more devoted to the program than others, but everybody who is here has actually stayed, even when it gets difficult and uncomfortable. I appreciate that.
I am grateful for my music. Well, not my music, I didn’t make it, but it is on my playlists, and I like the way it makes me feel when I listen to it. I can even work on inducing certain reactions with the right music, which I find cool, and good for those times when I need to get psyched up for something, whether it is a workout or an RPG session.
For a positive experience from the last 24 hours, I’ll go with group psychotherapy this morning. Sadly, I can’t say much about it, because what is said in group stays in group, but it was a good way to spend my time this morning. Even though there are only a few of us who regularly attend, it is still a group that I feel comfortable with. It is always hard to deal with people leaving, and with new people coming in, but everyone I have spent time on group psych with has been someone I felt comfortable sharing with. Like today, I didn’t necessarily have a great deal to say, but I like to think what I do end up saying has some helpful meaning to the other people in the group; I know I often feel that way about what other people have to say.
For exercise today, I went down to the gym, hopped on the exercise bike, and rode for about 45 minutes, going ten virtual miles. I felt completely drained after I came back to my apartment, but I got time earlier in the day to meditate and work on breathing exercises.
I didn’t send an e-mail to a friend today, but I sent a text (because I don’t know her e-mail). Just a few minutes ago, in fact. I’m not sure if this is becoming easier or harder, but it is certainly making me think about what I feel grateful to various people for.