Date Hard

I have the sneaking suspicion I have used a riff on Die Hard for a previous blog post, but Die Hard is just that cool. So, this past Saturday, I went on my first date. Not just with Calla – my first date, period. Yeah, took me about 34.5 years to get around to it.Now, being in my mid-30s, I don’t exactly have the same inclinations as your average teenager, but at the same time, this is all very new territory to me, so I really don’t have any idea what to do. That makes this whole dating thing both amazingly exciting and utterly terrifying.

I don’t really have any idea what I’m doing in the dating game, and my only quasi-personal experience is watching romance movies (I like Say Anything) and TV shows, and their dates tend to be either tremendously romantic, hilarious failures, or sometimes both. So I am kind of floundering in the dark. I don’t really care, though, because any time I get to spend with Calla has been great, and I believe will continue to be so. So if any readers have any helpful advice to someone new to the dating game, feel free to share.

What was particularly scary when doing some research (hey, I’m a nerd, I like to do internet research) is the kind of really hurtful, unpleasant stuff around on people with mental illness in relationships. I was looking around for advice on being in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, and I came up with this fun little article. It makes it sound like someone with BPD is just manipulative and nearing sociopathic, and that’s just not my experience. This made me a little scared to look up similar articles on dating someone with depression, but I looked anyway – and while articles on that topic were a bit, well, depressing, they were also closer to what I have experienced. Well, some of them; there was this gem, basically saying that depressed people shouldn’t try to find love.

It was just kind of shocking to see this kind of thing. There were better articles for depression, but I imagine that’s just because it has a wider knowledge base, and people at least understand the basic concept – even if they might not get that clinical depression, unlike situational depression or just regular feeling sad, isn’t something people can just snap out of. The lack of decent knowledge about mental illness is often scary, especially since I spend so much time in my little bubble of people who have, or at least understand, mental illness.

I guess it’ll just be some undiscovered country (yes, that was a reference to Star Trek VI, I am that much of a geek) for Calla and I.

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