It has been a few days since my last post, and a number of things have happened that have really done some messing with my world. Because of their nature and the privacy of the people involved, I can’t really talk about them here, but it’s involved a lot of thinking on my part, which can be both good and bad.
I have a tendency to get stuck in my head over certain issues, and, being depressed, I tend to think along the lines of whatever is the worst-case scenario for whatever is involved. Now, you can probably imagine how well that works – constantly expecting the worst to happen all the time doesn’t make for a very positive outlook, or a positive way of treating the people around you.This used to happen a lot, but lately it has happened a lot less – and for the most part, I have been able to identify when it is happening and try to change course.
Probably the most helpful way, for me, of doing this is to try and talk things through with friends or my therapist. While my friends have their own issues, they don’t all think the same way I do, and so they see what I am thinking about through different lenses. Consequently, they tend to come out with different ideas of what is going on or what I could possibly do to correct things. The conversation that occurs with this tends to help me correct my course, mentally speaking, because I’m getting help from people whose brains aren’t working against them on these particular topics.
All of this is a roundabout way of saying that the last few days have been difficult for me, but I’ve been able to talk over a lot of things with my friends, and they have helped me to see things in a different light. While things still aren’t that great, I’m hopeful that they will get better, as opposed to assuming they will naturally get worse. It’s things like this that make a support network such an important part of managing my depression, because otherwise I would still be stuck in my head. thinking the worst, and expecting only awful things.
On a side note, Calla will be coming home in a few days, and I’m pretty excited about that. It’ll be good to see her again, and I hope we get a chance to spend some quality time together soon.