Questions From Hell

I’ve been thinking about a blog topic recently; I was planning on being a huge geek and talking about the Marvel Cinematic Universe versions of Steve Rogers (Captain America) and Tony Stark (Iron Man), or maybe the Star Wars showdown between Anakin Skywalker vs. Kylo Ren. But then earlier today, something really unpleasant (and I only use unpleasant because right now I can’t think of a word to truly describe how it felt) happened.

I had a friend text me and ask me, ‘What is the easiest way to kill myself?’

Given my own history involving suicide, asking this question was like being stabbed in the most painful place you can imagine, by someone who I thought would never do something like that. I’ve spent hours trying to come to something I can say about it without resorting to a mixture of crying, screaming, hitting things, and four-letter words, and… I’ve come up with nothing.

Seriously, given my history, what the fuck do I say to something like that? I haven’t had a drink in almost three years, but I’m tempted to do so now.

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One comment on “Questions From Hell

  1. lynnjsmith says:

    Jamie,

    You need to call us and talk to us about this. Depression rears its ugly head in the most unlikely places and times. Talking about it with someone helps at least some. First seek to understand, then be understood. Why now?

    Be safe.

    Love and hugs,

    Mom

    Lynn Smith lynnjsmith@aol.com

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